My Life: The Reality Show

It has been a trying few weeks, to say the least. It all began on our first outing with MOPS on 10/18 when the boys and I met up with some moms and kiddies at Homeland Creamery.

We were ready to spend this crisp fall morning on a Piedmont dairy farm. But once we piled onto the tractor for the hayride, Zeke decided that he didn’t like hayrides: too slow, too full of hay, too many stops and too many rules (read: the one rule of “don’t stand while the tractor is moving”), yet definitely not enough close encounters with cows, blah blah blah.

Zeke (left) & Gabriel place flowers on a Houston family grave.

Unfortunately, Zeke’s complaints had on effect on his otherwise happy bros — such is the challenge of being a mom of multiple kids. Here and there, Gabriel and Houston would be disrespectful or blatantly contrary, but overall, they were pretty content and mannerly. And with Zeke having intermittent respites from the insanity, we survived the playdate fairly unscathed. However, this junket was just a harbinger of the familial struggles to come.

Zeke’s boisterous rebellions continued on into 10/19. Couple that with Houston and Gabe’s fair share of sporadic pre-K mischief, and I was worn out by the time we headed up to Virginia for my sister’s wedding, and a bit frantic for the Thursday-night wedding rehearsal.

Luckily, Lisa and Albert are such a natural, relaxed and loving couple that by the time the Friday-night wedding took place, I had gained some perspective and composure. It was a simple and beautiful ceremony, and I was honored to do the chosen New Testament readings and intercessions. Thanks, y’all, for allowing me to be a part of your awesome wedding!

Big brother shores up the flower decoration efforts.

That’s not to say that Zeke had abandoned challenging parental authority. In fact, he was so insubordinate during his pre-wedding bath that we almost kept him home from the marital festivities. But luckily, the rebellions were infrequent and short-lived.

The Saturday party at my parents’ house served as a catharsis for my ailing mommy soul. Things kicked off when Stephen was awakened at 4 a.m. to help Albert cook the whole pig and decapitated lamb over a charcoal rotisserie set up in the back driveway, got rocking with a bluegrass band and continued on until the wee hours. Families grew stronger and friendships were made.

That glorious Saturday, we rarely saw a perpetually gleeful Houston, who was trekking all over Gramsey and Papa’s property with an always-adventurous Cousin Kara. Gabriel and Zeke had a blast dutifully following the big kids around, and were certainly lavished with tons of attention in between exploits.

By 10/28, Zeke decided it was time to take a bold stand over what he saw as an inequity of toy trains during a playdate at Miss Lorrie’s, as well as vehemently voicing his concerns over the lack of track maintenance. And then this dramatic misbehavior reared its ugly head again en route to the NC Transportation Museum on 10/29, when Zeke decided to have a spaz over a fallen shoe.

The forearm tattoo of Ethan Houston of Johnson City, Tenn.

See, we were taking the whole family to ride the Halloween Train and meet up with some Charlotte friends as part of Gabriel and Zeke’s belated birthday present. So, we thought it would be a proper punishment to let all the kids (less Zeke) ride the train. This didn’t seem to have much effect on him, since he got to participate in all the other choo-choo-centric fun around the museum. Interestingly, he was actually quite well-behaved post-shoe-meltdown.

Then Zeke decided that Halloween was a good day to test boundaries, but on an amplified level. In the midst of ensuing chaos, I figured that I may as well seize the moment and start breaking Zeke of his thumb-sucking habit. After all, he was already being belligerent, so why not go ahead and paint Mavala Stop (the yucky-tasting stuff I had already bought) on his thumb nail?!

Despite our efforts to cut Zeke some slack, he made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to be a team player or follow by the rules. Let’s just sum it up by saying that we didn’t let Zeke go trick-or-treating on Halloween. Can you imagine how drastic it was that we felt it necessary to have him miss out on the memorable holiday?!

Houston and Gabriel were concerned about Zeke at first, but trick-or-treating with neighborhood friends helped them get over that pretty quickly. They also had no qualms about devouring candy — which Zeke was prohibited to do that night — right in front of their treatless-bro when they returned home from their spooky escapades.

Granny gathers her boys @ the family cemetery entrance.

November has seen a drastically better-behaved Zeke and much happier family unit as a result. However, he has had full-fledge tantrums three out of the first four days of this month. These hysterical fits, which last up to an hour, have all taken place right when Zeke awakes from his nap. And just as quickly as they begin, they end and he is back to being himself … like the flick of switch.

From all the research I’ve done, I’m convinced that the cause of this behavior (which is considered normal in kids his age) is three-fold.

  1. Zeke’s horrible nighttime cough had been keeping him from getting much restful sleep beginning in late October, so I’m sure the fatigue built up to an intolerable level. (Luckily, his asthma meds are finally doing their job and his cough and sleep have improved in the past couple of days.)
  2. Zeke’s normal post-nap ritual of quietly chilling in his crib with fleece blankie and dependable thumb is no longer an option. This is obviously causing him immense grief and frustration.
  3. And breaking the thumb-sucking habit presents both a struggle with gaining independence and learning a new skill: he needs to be a big boy and not use his thumb as a pacifier.

In addition, we’re going to try giving both Zeke and Gabriel an increased feeling of autonomy with upping our potty-training efforts, having the twins use regular (not sippy) cups a lot more often, finally assembling one of our conversion cribs into a toddler bed, and moving bunk beds way up to the top of our to-buy list.

Gabriel & Zeke attend their first Grasshoppers game in August 2011.

Now if we could just break Zeke of his new favorite habit of putting objects in the potty; Gabriel of his penchant for ear-piercing whining; and Houston of his (thankfully) scarce vexation-induced outbursts of “I hate all things and want to die and don’t want to go to heaven,” we’d be all set. Ah, kids.

Believe it or not, before, during and after all this craziness, a lot of cool and memorable stuff has been taking place.

On 10/13, Stephen and I made our mortgage refinance official, locking in 15-year rate of 3.25%, down almost three points from our original contract. We had to take the 3 Amigos to the law office for the paperwork signing and they behaved brilliantly, coloring at one end of the huge, fancy legal table while we tended to our business at the other end.

Stephen and I celebrated our wedding anniversary on 10/14. Eleven years and we haven’t killed each other yet!

Houston chugs lemonade from our 3rd baseline seats.

Gabriel and Zeke’s birthday party took place on 10/15. We had a few Moms Club pals, our neighborhood posse, Granny and Grumps, Miss Jessie and some other friends over for an old-school fall bash, featuring bobbing for apples, a scavenger hunt, pin the tail on the donkey and a pinata. Our double trouble (who actually turned 3 on 10/16) had a blast, as did everyone else.

We wrote messages on the twins’ birthday balloons and released them into the sky on 10/24. The boys beamed with wonder as they watched the balloons ascend to the heavens. It was a creative way to get rid of the balloons, which so often cause fights between my boys.

Gabriel spit toothpaste into the sink for the first time on 10/25. He still hasn’t mastered the technique, but he’s getting there.

We attended Houston’s final t-ball game as a family on 10/26. What a nice way to end such a great season!

We attended the Moms Club Halloween party on 10/27.  The dudes looked so adorable in their homemade costumes (thanks, Miss Jessie). So, yes, there will be a few pics of Zeke dressed up as a pumpkin from this outing, as well as plenty of Houston as ghost and Gabriel as Vader from this party and from Halloween.

Zeke waits patiently to hug the Chick-fil-A cow.

I implemented the new 30-minute mealtime rule on 11/1. That’s how long the kids get to eat and not a second longer. This has made mealtime — which had become a dreadfully arduous task — a much more pleasant and efficient experience for me, and a more mannerly effort for the kids.

We went on our second MOPS outing on 11/2 to Backyard Paradise. The 3 Amigos (namely Zeke) made a much better impression than was made at the dairy farm. The kids loved climbing the huge play systems and bouncing on trampolines; Houston enjoyed spending time with his new buddy, Asher; and I actually got some time to talk with Miss Christie about homeschooling.

The vaccines Gabriel and Zeke got on 11/3 puts them one step closer to being caught up on their schedule. Only two more shots to go before they’re AAP-approved and we can start shopping around for a new pediatrician. Yay!

Gabriel thinks, “Who says you actually have to watch the game?”

What could have been an all-out crazy errand yesterday turned out to be a little less crazy and fun to boot due to my awesome friends. After a playgroup, I dropped the boys off for burgers at Wendy’s with Miss Lorrie, Miss Amy and their kids; took the van across the busy street to get an oil change; battled traffic, the wind and rain during my run back to the restaurant; ate my grub while the boys devoured their desserts; kept the kids occupied with balled-up napkin games and bubblegum-wrapper airplanes till the hour-plus car service was completed.

And going the extra mile, Miss Lorrie gave us a back-of-the-van ride to retrieve our vehicle, breaking the law in an effort to keep us safe and dry. Upon opening up the door to let us unload from the rear of her van, I joked that my life should be a reality show. Perhaps it could be called “It Doesn’t Take a Village, It Takes a Straightjacket” … for the kids, of course, not me. Well, I suppose that’s negotiable.

Click the above shot to check out photos of the family’s baseball outing and the tattoo to see pics from the Houston Family Reunion, both of which took place in August.

One thought on “My Life: The Reality Show

  1. Oh, my gosh! What adventures! I know you won’t agree but Dad & I found so much of this hilarious, especially Houston’s comments..”I hate all things….” etc. Zeke is so much like Dad, according to Dad. Scary, huh? We are planning a trip down after Thanksgiving and can’t wait to see all of you!! I especially love the pic w/large baseball w/Zeke & Gabe and the 3 Amigoes w/Capt. America….too cute for words.

Leave a Reply