My Life: The Reality Show

It has been a trying few weeks, to say the least. It all began on our first outing with MOPS on 10/18 when the boys and I met up with some moms and kiddies at Homeland Creamery.

We were ready to spend this crisp fall morning on a Piedmont dairy farm. But once we piled onto the tractor for the hayride, Zeke decided that he didn’t like hayrides: too slow, too full of hay, too many stops and too many rules (read: the one rule of “don’t stand while the tractor is moving”), yet definitely not enough close encounters with cows, blah blah blah.

Zeke (left) & Gabriel place flowers on a Houston family grave.

Unfortunately, Zeke’s complaints had on effect on his otherwise happy bros — such is the challenge of being a mom of multiple kids. Here and there, Gabriel and Houston would be disrespectful or blatantly contrary, but overall, they were pretty content and mannerly. And with Zeke having intermittent respites from the insanity, we survived the playdate fairly unscathed. However, this junket was just a harbinger of the familial struggles to come.

Zeke’s boisterous rebellions continued on into 10/19. Couple that with Houston and Gabe’s fair share of sporadic pre-K mischief, and I was worn out by the time we headed up to Virginia for my sister’s wedding, and a bit frantic for the Thursday-night wedding rehearsal.

Luckily, Lisa and Albert are such a natural, relaxed and loving couple that by the time the Friday-night wedding took place, I had gained some perspective and composure. It was a simple and beautiful ceremony, and I was honored to do the chosen New Testament readings and intercessions. Thanks, y’all, for allowing me to be a part of your awesome wedding!

Big brother shores up the flower decoration efforts.

That’s not to say that Zeke had abandoned challenging parental authority. In fact, he was so insubordinate during his pre-wedding bath that we almost kept him home from the marital festivities. But luckily, the rebellions were infrequent and short-lived.

The Saturday party at my parents’ house served as a catharsis for my ailing mommy soul. Things kicked off when Stephen was awakened at 4 a.m. to help Albert cook the whole pig and decapitated lamb over a charcoal rotisserie set up in the back driveway, got rocking with a bluegrass band and continued on until the wee hours. Families grew stronger and friendships were made.

That glorious Saturday, we rarely saw a perpetually gleeful Houston, who was trekking all over Gramsey and Papa’s property with an always-adventurous Cousin Kara. Gabriel and Zeke had a blast dutifully following the big kids around, and were certainly lavished with tons of attention in between exploits.

By 10/28, Zeke decided it was time to take a bold stand over what he saw as an inequity of toy trains during a playdate at Miss Lorrie’s, as well as vehemently voicing his concerns over the lack of track maintenance. And then this dramatic misbehavior reared its ugly head again en route to the NC Transportation Museum on 10/29, when Zeke decided to have a spaz over a fallen shoe.

The forearm tattoo of Ethan Houston of Johnson City, Tenn.

See, we were taking the whole family to ride the Halloween Train and meet up with some Charlotte friends as part of Gabriel and Zeke’s belated birthday present. So, we thought it would be a proper punishment to let all the kids (less Zeke) ride the train. This didn’t seem to have much effect on him, since he got to participate in all the other choo-choo-centric fun around the museum. Interestingly, he was actually quite well-behaved post-shoe-meltdown.

Then Zeke decided that Halloween was a good day to test boundaries, but on an amplified level. In the midst of ensuing chaos, I figured that I may as well seize the moment and start breaking Zeke of his thumb-sucking habit. After all, he was already being belligerent, so why not go ahead and paint Mavala Stop (the yucky-tasting stuff I had already bought) on his thumb nail?!

Despite our efforts to cut Zeke some slack, he made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to be a team player or follow by the rules. Let’s just sum it up by saying that we didn’t let Zeke go trick-or-treating on Halloween. Can you imagine how drastic it was that we felt it necessary to have him miss out on the memorable holiday?!

Houston and Gabriel were concerned about Zeke at first, but trick-or-treating with neighborhood friends helped them get over that pretty quickly. They also had no qualms about devouring candy — which Zeke was prohibited to do that night — right in front of their treatless-bro when they returned home from their spooky escapades.

Granny gathers her boys @ the family cemetery entrance.

November has seen a drastically better-behaved Zeke and much happier family unit as a result. However, he has had full-fledge tantrums three out of the first four days of this month. These hysterical fits, which last up to an hour, have all taken place right when Zeke awakes from his nap. And just as quickly as they begin, they end and he is back to being himself … like the flick of switch.

From all the research I’ve done, I’m convinced that the cause of this behavior (which is considered normal in kids his age) is three-fold.

  1. Zeke’s horrible nighttime cough had been keeping him from getting much restful sleep beginning in late October, so I’m sure the fatigue built up to an intolerable level. (Luckily, his asthma meds are finally doing their job and his cough and sleep have improved in the past couple of days.)
  2. Zeke’s normal post-nap ritual of quietly chilling in his crib with fleece blankie and dependable thumb is no longer an option. This is obviously causing him immense grief and frustration.
  3. And breaking the thumb-sucking habit presents both a struggle with gaining independence and learning a new skill: he needs to be a big boy and not use his thumb as a pacifier.

In addition, we’re going to try giving both Zeke and Gabriel an increased feeling of autonomy with upping our potty-training efforts, having the twins use regular (not sippy) cups a lot more often, finally assembling one of our conversion cribs into a toddler bed, and moving bunk beds way up to the top of our to-buy list.

Gabriel & Zeke attend their first Grasshoppers game in August 2011.

Now if we could just break Zeke of his new favorite habit of putting objects in the potty; Gabriel of his penchant for ear-piercing whining; and Houston of his (thankfully) scarce vexation-induced outbursts of “I hate all things and want to die and don’t want to go to heaven,” we’d be all set. Ah, kids.

Believe it or not, before, during and after all this craziness, a lot of cool and memorable stuff has been taking place.

On 10/13, Stephen and I made our mortgage refinance official, locking in 15-year rate of 3.25%, down almost three points from our original contract. We had to take the 3 Amigos to the law office for the paperwork signing and they behaved brilliantly, coloring at one end of the huge, fancy legal table while we tended to our business at the other end.

Stephen and I celebrated our wedding anniversary on 10/14. Eleven years and we haven’t killed each other yet!

Houston chugs lemonade from our 3rd baseline seats.

Gabriel and Zeke’s birthday party took place on 10/15. We had a few Moms Club pals, our neighborhood posse, Granny and Grumps, Miss Jessie and some other friends over for an old-school fall bash, featuring bobbing for apples, a scavenger hunt, pin the tail on the donkey and a pinata. Our double trouble (who actually turned 3 on 10/16) had a blast, as did everyone else.

We wrote messages on the twins’ birthday balloons and released them into the sky on 10/24. The boys beamed with wonder as they watched the balloons ascend to the heavens. It was a creative way to get rid of the balloons, which so often cause fights between my boys.

Gabriel spit toothpaste into the sink for the first time on 10/25. He still hasn’t mastered the technique, but he’s getting there.

We attended Houston’s final t-ball game as a family on 10/26. What a nice way to end such a great season!

We attended the Moms Club Halloween party on 10/27.  The dudes looked so adorable in their homemade costumes (thanks, Miss Jessie). So, yes, there will be a few pics of Zeke dressed up as a pumpkin from this outing, as well as plenty of Houston as ghost and Gabriel as Vader from this party and from Halloween.

Zeke waits patiently to hug the Chick-fil-A cow.

I implemented the new 30-minute mealtime rule on 11/1. That’s how long the kids get to eat and not a second longer. This has made mealtime — which had become a dreadfully arduous task — a much more pleasant and efficient experience for me, and a more mannerly effort for the kids.

We went on our second MOPS outing on 11/2 to Backyard Paradise. The 3 Amigos (namely Zeke) made a much better impression than was made at the dairy farm. The kids loved climbing the huge play systems and bouncing on trampolines; Houston enjoyed spending time with his new buddy, Asher; and I actually got some time to talk with Miss Christie about homeschooling.

The vaccines Gabriel and Zeke got on 11/3 puts them one step closer to being caught up on their schedule. Only two more shots to go before they’re AAP-approved and we can start shopping around for a new pediatrician. Yay!

Gabriel thinks, “Who says you actually have to watch the game?”

What could have been an all-out crazy errand yesterday turned out to be a little less crazy and fun to boot due to my awesome friends. After a playgroup, I dropped the boys off for burgers at Wendy’s with Miss Lorrie, Miss Amy and their kids; took the van across the busy street to get an oil change; battled traffic, the wind and rain during my run back to the restaurant; ate my grub while the boys devoured their desserts; kept the kids occupied with balled-up napkin games and bubblegum-wrapper airplanes till the hour-plus car service was completed.

And going the extra mile, Miss Lorrie gave us a back-of-the-van ride to retrieve our vehicle, breaking the law in an effort to keep us safe and dry. Upon opening up the door to let us unload from the rear of her van, I joked that my life should be a reality show. Perhaps it could be called “It Doesn’t Take a Village, It Takes a Straightjacket” … for the kids, of course, not me. Well, I suppose that’s negotiable.

Click the above shot to check out photos of the family’s baseball outing and the tattoo to see pics from the Houston Family Reunion, both of which took place in August.

Proust Questionnaire

I had to fill out the Proust Questionnaire for a feature in this month’s Moms Club newsletter. And since I just got the father-son camping photos edited and into gallery, I thought I’d go ahead and share my answers for this blog.

Houston & Daddy swim in the lake @ Hanging Rock.

What is your idea of perfect happiness? Hanging out at a comfy backwoods locale with my hubby and the boys. We’ve already done a good hike and set up the site. All that remains is devouring our campfire-cooked feast and relaxing under the stars.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Being a yeller. I grew up in a house of yellers, so refraining from that learned behavior takes constant work. I usually succeed, but when I fail, I feel horrible.

What is your greatest extravagance? Getting an occasional full-body massage.

What do you dislike most about your appearance? My weight. Raising 3 boys, I’m probably stronger than I’ve ever been, but unfortunately, all my muscles are cloaked under a big layer of flab.

What is your greatest regret? I’m not really a regrets kind of person. I feel like learning and growing from my mistakes has made me a better person, wife and mother.

Father & son maneuver the water via canoe.

Which talent would you most like to have? Being able to live happily and healthily on 4 hours of sleep a night.

What is your current state of mind? Positive.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? I suppose I would come back as the cat of a doting pet owner. That way, I could snooze my days away and party at night — similar to college, but without the exams and debt.

What is your most treasured possession? My pictures: three-decades’ worth of 35 mm memories housed in photo albums and more recent moments of time captured and living digitally on CD or in iPhoto.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? The loss of a child.

Where would you like to live? In the mountains, especially at an altitude where the temp never gets above 85 degrees.

This boy is ready for a hike!

What is your favorite occupation? Freelance writer or blogger, where I get paid to pen my thoughts at my leisure and for an exorbitant amount of money.

What is the quality you most like in a man? Self-reliance.

What is the quality you most like in a woman? Same.

What do you most value in your friends? Honesty.

Who are your favorite writers? I don’t have any particular favorites, but I am a nonfiction junkie with a penchant for biographies and political tomes.

Who are your heroes in real life? People who stand up for their principles when the particular position is unpopular.

Waterfalls: the perfect way to cool off from a hike.

What is it that you most dislike? Deception veiled as truth … and drivers who tailgate.

How would you like to die? Any way God wants me to (preferably something quick) and hopefully at a point that I’ve gotten see my boys grow up, get married and get tortured by, I mean, enjoy kids of their own.

What is your motto? One day at a time.

Click the top photo to check out Part 1 pics from Westover’s father-son camping trip, which took place in August. And click the above photo to see Part 2.

3 Peas In A Pod

Here’s a current blog, but old photos from the summer. Yep, I’m still playing catch-up on pics, so thanks for your patience.

Fire safety day

Miss Jessie and I taught the 3 Amigos all about fire safety on 9/29. We reviewed the basics and then did some fire drills. Jessie pumped “smoke” into their bedroom (via a fog machine she borrowed from her church), while I helped them get down low on the floor. Gabriel and Houston each made a mock 911 call to Jessie’s cell phone, telling her the emergency and his full name. (Zeke was freaked out by the smoke, so he didn’t make the practice call.)

As big bro in charge, Houston unlocked and opened the window, and the dudes crawled out to safety. They also got to hear the smoke detectors go off, practiced lots of “stop, drop and roll,” made some construction-paper fire trucks, and were treated to an awesome PowerPoint presentation of fire-safety images that Jessie made (on her own time).

“3 peas in a pod” hang out @ the farm.

Fire station tour

The fire theme continued the next day with a visit to Northeast Fire Department, which I set up as an outing for Moms Club. Only Miss Amy, Daniel and Andrew could make it, but it actually turned out great that so few kids were there ’cause the fire fighters were able to give a more relaxed and hands-on tour with just five (although, extremely excited) boys present.

After assuring Amy and me that “they really can’t break this stuff,” the kids were allowed free rein, climbing on and in every fire and EMT vehicle. They got to spray the fire hose, pull the truck horn, turn cranks, press buttons, wear a fireman’s hat, don fire-resistant gear, look at images through the heat-detection camera, stand on the front of a fire truck and more!

Then we topped things off with lunch and lots of rough-housing at a nearby park with Amy and her boys. She says that Daniel and Houston are BFFs. “He’s my buddy,” concurs Houston.

Brotherly competition

The results are in: Gabriel won the first round of the “diamonds in a jar” competition and chose going on a hike as his upcoming one-on-one time with Daddy. Our outdoor boy picked the hike over going to the comic book store or attending a high school football game. We’re proud of you, Gabe!

Haylie, Houston & Zeke play in the herbs.

And Zeke won the “dream weekend” in the mountains with Granny and Grumps. He was happy and well-behaved, they report, and only started showing signs of homesickness on Sunday. By the time we met them that day for lunch, Zeke was due for a little meltdown, I suppose, and let his contrarian attitude be known. Overall, though, Zeke did a wonderful job on his first solo outing.

Gabriel, on the other hand, was extra whiney and emotional over the weekend. Maybe being at home with constant reminders of twin bro all around was just too much to bear. And Houston really missed Zeke, regularly voicing his concern for the missing bro.

It’ll be interesting to see how different each kid handles the next separation when Gabe gets to spend the weekend at Granny’s. I know it’s healthy to let each big boy have some valuable solo time with loved ones, but they really are three peas in a pod.

Church

Stephen and I began taking the Membership Class at church on 10/2. The six-week program teaches people who think they might want to join Westover as an official member what the church is about (i.e., doctrine essentials vs. non-essentials) and what the church has to offer (learning opportunities, theological discourse, community and global outreach, etc.)

Gabe, Zeke & Savanah reach for the ‘maters.

Our small group will have lunch with the pastor and his wife on 10/30 to allow us the opportunity to get to know them a bit better, as well as ask questions. Upon completion of the class, we will then meet with a few church elders to finally decide if we and Westover are a match. So far, so good.

Solar system day

Miss Jessie handled the execution of this themed day on 10/4. She created (again, on her own time) a beautiful poster-board chart comprised of planet cut-outs, paint, glitter and ribbon-ringed celestial bodies. After reviewing the poster and reading books on the subject, she showed the kids space pics on her laptop, and helped them each craft a “telescope” by drawing on the cardboard middle of an empty paper-towel roll and “planets” by painting cosmic landscapes onto inflated white balloons.

More fire stuff

I took the kids to the “fire fighters and fire engines” story time at the library. They so were so well-behaved for the readings, the group activities and the playtime that I thought we should eat our packed lunch outside on the lawn on this gorgeous fall day. Then the boys got busy collecting huge acorns, which they brought home to our back yard, and then climbing and sitting in a giant old tree (with Mommy’s assistance).

“I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV,” Houston explains.

Pumpkins galore

Last Friday, we hit the pumpkin patch at Mount Pisgah Methodist with Moms Club, and were also treated to a visit from Auntie Merdy and Uncle Greg, who attend that church. Other than the scare of Gabriel getting way too close to the busy road to check out a traffic sign — one of his new passions — the gang had a blast picking out small pumpkins and gourds while playing amongst the rows of festive veggies and mounds of acorns.

From there, the Moms Club posse headed for my favorite park, where the kids painted and put stickers on their pumpkins, frolicked in the warm sunshine, and ate Halloween cookies and snacks. Another awesome autumn outing!

Bikes & baseball 

Late last week, Houston pulled off his first trek all the way around the block without any assistance. And then he accomplished the feat again with Alyssa over the weekend. Zeke and Gabriel are making great strides with the trike. I’m sure they’ll be taking off on solo rides before we know it.

We pose w/ “pretty Pat” after the twins’ final speech therapy.

Houston confidently caught three ground balls and hit like a champ at his t-ball game on Saturday, says Daddy. His skills have come a long way in such a short period, and little bros are following close behind, especially with their throwing and aiming abilities. All that time Daddy spends playing ball with the 3 Amigos is really paying off.

Sandbox

Also last weekend, Stephen, the boys, Alyssa and I made a make-shift sandbox by using rip rap as the border, instead of wood. We have a surplus of the big rocks from past yard work, and I figured that if it worked for our campfire ring, why not for this project? Plus, the dudes had taken a liking to digging muddy holes in the berm of one of our backyard trees, so why not give ’em what they were craving? The sandbox is holding up pretty well thus far and the kids couldn’t be happier.

Photos 

Click the top image to check out our Moms Club outing to Faucette Farms back in July; the Houston-as-doc picture to view the July gallery; and the above photo to see the August shots.