Category Archives: Holidays

Becoming

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“A mom who is able to learn a new path and then respond. A woman who does things differently because God is growing her up.” — “Becoming,” as defined by Angela Thomas, author & speaker

That pretty much encapsulates the increasing effect of my recent spiritual transformation. Sure, it takes diligent, intentional work on a daily basis, and of course, an understanding that there is still so much more ground to cover on this journey.

But it has already given me a resilience I have never known before. I now feel a growing strength, which has in turn given me a greater flexibility to begin changing some old ways of thinking (being a perfectionist) and patterns of behavior (feeling defeated when perfection doesn’t materialize).

Live “boldly, yet wisely”

That was the message from last Sunday’s sermon from Ecclesiastes 11: 1-6. For those of you who know me well, I have rarely had trouble with the boldly part. I get my mind set on something and there is no stopping me from reaching that goal. Sometimes it’s a blessing, such as my determination to make a long-distance relationship with a guy seven years my junior work or managing to earn a degree from UW-Madison.

Zeke talks Thomas the Train w/ Santa while @ Sugar Plum Farm.

Rubber meets the road 

But my tenacity has many times hindered the wisest execution of a plan (past examples are too numerous to cite). “I will homeschool my kids no matter what … I will never put my kids in public schools … it would be a dereliction of my duty as a parent to do otherwise” were all refrains I have said over the years. But when you have a kid who should be entering elementary school in a matter of months, soliloquies don’t cut it anymore. Pragmatic action is required.

Covering my bases

During my pre-becoming funk earlier this year, I realized (with the help of some much-needed advice) that I may not be able to pull this homeschooling thing off, if I didn’t get my act together. Ever stubborn, I ignored the wisdom at first, but soon realized that I should take the opportunity to check out all my options.

And I have. Houston is on the lottery for a National Heritage charter academy and will also be on the list for a Spanish-immersion magnet school, once I attend its open house next week.

Growing confidence

Thankfully, my maturing spirituality has led the bold-but-wise me to do a lot of homeschooling homework, as well. Point is I have never felt more optimistic about officially taking on the new role of kindergarten educator.

Houston requests a globe & video game from Mr. Claus.

On 2/9, I attended a Classical Conversations open house at Westside Chapel with Christie and her hubby, Logan. We learned a great deal, asked many questions, met other homeschool families, and got Houston and Asher onto the waiting list for the weekly tutorials for this particular CC community. It’s called Abecedarian (Latin for learning the alphabet) and is the first part of the Foundations curriculum for ages 4 to 6.

We also contacted Central Baptist and found out that this CC community has no waiting list for Abecedarian students. So being the proactive gals that we are, Christie and I visited them yesterday. It is an incredible organization: structured enough to get things done in a timely mannerly, but relaxed enough to have a down-home feel.

Case in point, the morning group lesson was about orchestras. The CC tutor who led it — a harpist with a music degree — had the kids conduct concertos with chopsticks, talked to them about what instruments comprise an orchestra, described all the woodwinds (since that was the day’s emphasis), and of course, taught them about classical music in the process. Very hands-on and very cool.

If nothing happens, as Nanny Quate used to say, it looks like the 3 Amigos will begin CC homeschooling next August, and Houston will be attending Abecedarian tutorials at Central Baptist, while the twins have fun in the Little Learners program. And if something (drastic) happens, hopefully the charter or magnet school will pan out.

Santa can hardly contain a wide-eyed Gabriel. (Click to see all the Thanksgiving fun.)

Mommy & Miss Jessie’s Pre-School of Hard Knocks 

The boys finally completed their Amazing Word Wall. So now we’re kicking off Mondays with one letter and concentrating on the chosen letter for the rest of the week. Miss Jessie has been getting extra books from the library and printing out related activity sheets all on her own time, and the boys are showing great progress. Houston even caught me the other night skipping some words in a lengthy bedtime book.

We’re still teaching the calendar, time and the solar system, as well as other science stuff here and there, like nature, the properties of cooking, etc. In early February, Miss Jessie started math with the boys, mostly addition with some subtraction sprinkled in, and I’ve been working on the fundamentals of money, fractions (splitting coins into thirds) and general sorting.

Last week, we began our “lessons in other cultures” with Mexico. Jessie went over some basics about our neighbor to the south and brought in a few fun props. I cooked taquitos and rice and beans for dinner, we listened to Los Tigres del Norte while eating our Mexican feast, and then the boys played Go Fish (with numbers in Español only) with Jessie. Daddy rounded it all out by doing Spanish flashcards with the 3 Amigos over the weekend.

Zeke & Houston are ready to find the perfect Christmas tree.

All work & no play makes Rebecca a dull girl

Despite the grind of it all, we still know how to have a good time. And February has been a fabulous month …

  • 2/6: Miss Christie and her kids (Asher, Jackson and Piper) attended their first play date here at “the zoo.”
  • 2/8: I scored some cheap circus tickets through GMOM and took the boys to opening night. “Whoa, cool!” exclaimed Gabriel and Zeke initially, but soon morphed into “When are we going home?” They were polite and patient, especially considering this was their first circus experience, and we made it through the long first half of the performance. This was Houston’s third year, so he really enjoyed the show, most notably the Shaolin (warrior monks) and the lions and tigers.
  • 2/9-2/10: Gramsey and Papa visit. They also gave the boys walkie talkies, which have since provided tons of entertainment on Liberty Loop.
  • 2/10-2/12: Granny and Grumps visit. That Saturday, we finally rewarded the boys with a jaunt to Chuck E. Cheese. (Remember, they earned 30 marks on the Chuck E. Cheese chart for exhibiting good manners at the kitchen table?) Miss Jessie met up with us for the greatly anticipated celebration and, despite the throng, we all had a blast.

Gabe thinks getting a choose-&-cut tree is the No. 1 Thanksgiving family tradition.

  • 2/16: I had a girls-night out with Miss Lorrie. Too much food and libation were consumed, but good times abound.
  • 2/17: Stephen and I had our first date night in a long, long time. Again, too much food and libation. We hope to mix up our dates a bit and not purely do typical dinner dates. Perhaps an afternoon outing to the gun range?
  • 2/18: It’s a boys-only Saturday, so Daddy took ’em to the Natural Science Center. The kids showed courage in the dinosaur room and even attended a dino-related film. And a diligent Daddy then treated them to lunch at the International Market food court.
  • 2/19: In another show of bravery, Zeke got over his “man on the donkey” fear while dining at Rio Grande, and Gabriel almost fully conquered his trepidation over the longhorn skull. We also ran into Miss Christie and her kiddos while there. Random post-church fun.
  • 2/19-2/20: It snowed for the first time this winter. We only got about 2 inches, but we definitely made the most of it. Sledding, snowball fights, snow angels, a lame-looking snowman … any recreation that derives from snow was done. Gotta love the white stuff.

“Lighten up, Rebecca!”

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That was the friendly advice that Dixie’s daddy, Mr. Milt, gave me when he encountered me rushing around one night like a chicken with my head cut off. In my defense, it was a pretty hectic week, but still, good advice shouldn’t be ignored.

Miss Jessie w/ the 3 Amigos before the Moms Club Halloween party.

Here’s the deal: Stephen has a new job. This is a good thing overall: it’s a challenging gig with a highly respected company, and it’s meeting his goal of learning new technologies. And as a consequence, it’s (hopefully) a more stable and secure place to be as the sole provider of a large family in a turbulent economy.

It does often require long hours and some travel, so Stephen wasn’t around much last week + the family was fighting nasty colds + the kids were exhibiting post-holiday hyperactivity + I was solo since Miss Jessie was at the beach = tough times for mama.

We all survived, though, and I eventually heeded Milt’s advice, ending the week on a strong and positive note!

One of the only pics of Zeke as a cute pumpkin for Halloween 2011.

Getting back into the swing of things has helped. My family craves structure and routine, so doing our first Moms Club playgroup in weeks was cathartic for both the boys and me.

The Friday fun was at Miss Amy’s house and, despite the shenanigans that had taken place at home earlier in the week, the 3 Amigos had excellent manners while eating, shared their toys, didn’t obsess over trains, and just played great with Daniel, Andrew and all the kiddies.

Christmas @ Clan Dillingham

  • My three newly appreciated Christmas songs: “Do You Hear What I Hear,” by Whitney Houston, “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” by Mariah Carey, and George Michael’s “Last Christmas.” I’m not normally a fan of any of these artists, but these ditties just fostered good, solid merriment throughout the holidays.
  • The twins found great amusement in “Feliz Navidad.” Every time we heard the song on the continuous Christmas station we jammed all December, they burst into hysterics, giggling like droll little elves.

Darth Vader, Wicked Witch & Spooky Ghost get ready to trick-or-treat, while Zeke stays home 🙁

  • Miss Jessie’s lessons on the Nativity culminated with a Christmas story reenactment, which included the boys using their homemade “three wise man” puppets and other props from Jessie’s church. I think the hands-on activity was effective in helping the kids understand and appreciate the true reason for the season.
  • We spent an evening at Miss Beth’s for some more pre-Christmas fun. The boys decorated gingerbread cookies and watched “Frosty the Snowman” with Matthew and Jonathan.
  • We then took off to the Festival of Lights and sung Christmas carols while biding our time in the long line entering the park. We were awestruck by the spectacular display of more than a million lights, making the wait well worth the effort.
  • While at Wal-Mart picking up a few stocking stuffers, an elderly man in the checkout line saw my purchases and asked, “Are you a teacher?” At first I said, “No,” but then I clarified, “Well, yeah, I homeschool my kids.” So, I guess I am a teacher, even if it is at what we jokingly refer to as Mommy & Miss Jessie’s Pre-School of Hard Knocks!

Two of the 3 Amigos hang w/ neighbors on Halloween.

  • On Christmas Eve, we attended service at church; the boys wrestled on our tumbling mat while Daddy refereed, trying to contain the excitement of Santa’s impending visit (all while watching “The Sound of Music”); Granny and Grumps arrived; and we tracked St. Nick’s progress on the NORAD website.
  • Zeke’s poignant statement on the big day: “Mommy, mommy, this is the best Christmas ever!” he exclaimed with a colossal smile and a gleam in his eye. The blissful proclamation surely makes all the shopping, price comparisons, budget crunching and inevitable stress so worthwhile.
  • We went out to dinner (saw Daniel and Andrew there) and then did some shopping for discount ornaments the day after Christmas. I picked out a few fancy ornaments from Pier 1, and Daddy and the boys got some silly ones from Hallmark for the now three-year accidental family tradition.

Click this shot of the posse to view all the Halloween pics.

  • We headed up to Gramsey and Papa’s from 12/30 through 1/2, tying up the Christmas season and ringing in 2012. The boys got plenty of time with Cousin Kara, who spent the night for the duration of our stay, and we got to see most of the rest of the fam at a huge feast on Sunday afternoon.

The “fancy meal” reward system

Miss Jessie came up with the idea, wherein the kids can earn individual recognition for polite mealtime behavior and get to sign their names on a scroll made to look like “parchment” (i.e., Jessie distressed by burning the edges).

The reward area also displays a feather pen, three champagne flutes, and an ornate box full of shiny things. Once the kids receive the agreed upon number of signatures, we will dress up and eat a posh meal at a nicely set table by candlelight. Yep, Miss J rocks!

Perspective & balance

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Naughty has been winning out over nice recently, but mostly with the twins, namely Gabriel. “To hell with the consequences” is his current modus operandi, “No” is his favorite word, and “That would be a bad thing” is a frequent response to parental requests.

Zeke (left) & Gabriel bob for apples @ their 3rd birthday party.

Not only has Gabe been particularly stubborn and hard-headed, but he often laughs in the midst of punishment. I think Gabriel is just prone to challenging authority, no matter how negative the outcome. We’re working on him, but man, has mothering the G-man been a particularly exhausting and thankless task as of late.

Luckily, Zeke’s behavior has improved and his sleep-time tantrums have subsided, while Houston’s typical behavior is pretty sweet and polite. Of course, it doesn’t take much naughtiness on the part of one to rock the boat. After all, trying to maintain relative calm and obedience is a fragile thing even when it is achieved.

It’s a delicate balance of disciplining the troublemaker swiftly and effectually without having his influence start a domino effect, while simultaneously remaining stern and loving, and in control and patient. My new bumper sticker sums it up: “Motherhood isn’t for sissies.” Ain’t that the truth?!

“Double trouble” await the lighting of the candles on the “Candy Land” cake, made by Miss Jessie.

Interestingly, most of the bad behavior happens around the house. This makes for normally happy outings, but sometimes makes pre-schooling the 3 Amigos at home quite the challenging task. Miss Jessie is extremely helpful in this regard, so thank goodness we have her to assist in educating the boys and getting me prepared to eventually homeschool. However, any prayer you would like to say for me regarding the latter would be greatly appreciated : )

“The days are long, but the years are short,” goes the parenting adage. That perfectly encompasses the struggles and fulfillment that make up motherhood. So, I must maintain the balance when tackling daily struggles, knowing that these times (even the zaniest ones) are what make the lasting memories, and allowing that perspective to grant me inner peace and continued confidence.

Speaking of balance, I have sincerely lived by the “Simplify the season” motto this Christmas. October, with all its fall and Halloween events, leading up to Thanksgiving was swamped and stressed. Although we had tons of good times, I bit off more than I could chew and promised myself that I wouldn’t do the same with Christmas.

Gabriel takes the lead on the Liberty Loop scavenger hunt.

The boys and I have done just a few choice holiday activities, the family has only attended one party, and I did all my shopping online (and quite frugally to boot). It has been lovely to be able to truly enjoy the magic of Christmas and to impart the significance of Christ’s birth and subsequent holiday jubilation on to the kids.

Last week, we received a handwritten note in the mail from our pastor’s wife, Donna. The Sunday prior, she had seen the spectacle that is loading the hungry, fatigued, but nonetheless energetic 3 Amigos into the car post-church. Upon changing a dirty diaper in the back of the van, I yelled to Stephen, who was watching two of the dudes climb a light pole, “Okay, ready to roll.”

For some odd reason, Donna found great pleasure in witnessing our station in life, no matter how uncouth and uncivil. She stopped to talk to us, and we all had a laugh about the unsophisticated silliness that is so often parenthood. Anyway, her sweet letter read, “My prayer for your family is to feel connected and cared for at Westover.” And we do.

Zeke’s takes a swing @ the rainbow pinata.

Some other happenings:

  • It has been more than two weeks since Zeke has taken Prevacid and without incident, so I think it’s safe to say that he has officially outgrown acid reflux.
  • Houston had his first appointment with our new pediatrician, Dr. Gay. The friendly doc gave him a thorough head-to-toe wellness check, and said that his nose bleeds were due to dry air and could be prevented by daily saline spray.
  • Houston’s appointment offered Gabe and Zeke some alone time with Miss Jessie. The twins concentrated on academics, specifically penmanship, and their writing abilities and eye-hand coordination (most notably Gabe’s) amazed us both.
  • We started the no-interrupting game: the kids must touch our leg if we’re standing or our shoulder if we’re sitting, we give them a nod of acknowledgement, and then we let them speak when there’s a break in the ongoing conversation.
  • Daddy was talking football with the boys and, without prompting, Houston said, “My favorite football team is the Houstons.” Never to be outdone, Gabriel explained that he liked “the Gabriels.” Zeke’s initial pick was the “Zekies,” but then changed his team to the “Mommies.”
  • Jeopardy quiz: Zeke’s answer to the perennial question “What do you want on your pizza?” What is “Broccoli and ice cream.”

Safe on 1st, Houston enjoys his last t-ball game of the season.

  • The boys and I took Bob to her check-up last week. Good news is that she gained 1.4 pounds since starting her new Rx and “the zoo on wheels” had a fun and educational outing.
  • Last Saturday night, the family drove through an impressive Living Nativity (they even had a camel); trekked through a neighborhood-wide forest of lighted Christmas balls and other spectacular holiday luminaries displayed in an old, charming downtown community; and then attended an annual Christmas party we haven’t been to since 2005.
  • Last night, we finally went Christmas caroling to Miss Shawn’s and Miss Heather’s houses. We still have a couple more neighbors to visit, but overall, the dudes did great on both vocals and instrumentation. Our set list: Rudolph, Little Drummer Boy, Oh Christmas Tree, and Jingle Bells.
  • Today, we went to the Children’s Museum with Miss Christie from MOPS and her daughter, Piper. The dudes delighted in their faves — such as the fire truck, the trains, the giant legos, the mini-shopping market and the outdoor gardens — but also had a blast in the visiting Curious George exhibit.
  • Despite being pooped, Gabriel totally undressed himself at bath time tonight, which included the feats of getting his head and arms out of his shirt and his undies off. Quite spectacular.

 Nailing the t-ball stand is just as cool as hitting the ball!

Lastly, one of our adaptations of “A Christmas Carol” has animals as the characters. Ebenezer Scrooge is a cranky turtle and his dead business partner, Jacob Marley, is a beaver — a typically non-threatening critter, I would think. Well, Houston has convinced himself that the tame “beaver ghost” illustration is the worthy of fear, making him now afraid of the dark. I pray that’s short lived.

Funny thing is that we have another book of the Charles Dickens’ classic that features a spooky grim-reaper-looking Ghost of Christmas Future, yet that evokes no trepidation in Houston.

And just to keep things perfectly unpredictable, yesterday Houston announced, “I want to be Jacob Marley for Halloween.” Gabriel echoed, “Me, too.” Kids are so weird.

Click the top photo to check out part 1 of the festivities from Gabe and Zeke’s birthday party on 10/15, the pinata pic to view part 2, and the above shot to see happenings from Houston’s final t-ball game in late October.