Between 397 and 400, Augustine of Hippo wrote the book “Confessions” in which he described his crisis of faith, his sinful youth, and his conversion to Christianity. One of the first major autobiographies written in latin, “Confessions” is considered by many to be one of the great masterpieces of Western literature. 

Augustine wrote that in his early life, he was a Manichaeist and even worshiped the stars, stating that he practiced astrology and thought that the universe was not controlled by a god. Augustine explained that during his youth, he stole things for no reason simply because he found pleasure in it, that he had many lovers, and was lustful. 

During his early adulthood, Augustine had a child with a woman to whom he was not married and did not love. However, Augustine decided to marry her, but had many mistresses. He was lost, and wrote that he did not understand the purpose of life. Thankfully, Augustine’s  friends helped convince him that Christianity was the most logical and plausible religion in the world. 

Eventually converting, Augustine was still depressed since he felt like he did not deserve to make it to God’s kingdom when he died. Because of their earthly sacrifice, Augustine stated that the martyrs have a place in heaven, but he will not due to his sacrifice to men instead of God. 

Since the book “Confessions” was composed after Christianity was legalized in the Roman Empire and martyrdom was no longer a threat, Augustine believed more than ever that he could not obtain a place in heaven because of his sin. He said his lust and lack of faith made him melancholy, writing that “A starving beggar is happier than I.” Nevertheless, Augustine did conclude that Christianity was the true faith and that the trinity is the most rational conclusion to the question of the universe.