Abnormal, and also awesome at the same time, these animals are the only egg-laying mammals. So strange, that when Europeans first saw pictures of these weird creatures, they thought it was fake. Like a vicious Viper, the Platypus has venomous spurs under his heels. These webbed-footed mammals live in and out of water and are cousins to maybe an even odder beast. The Echidna, which looks like a porcupine with a beek, has spikes and a sticky and long tongue which they use to collect insects. They may be bizarre but they are great and awesome animals.
This is quite the fun essay! Couple of things:
Can you replace “these animals” in the first sentence with “Platypuses”? I was unsure what animal you were talking about since you don’t say till the third sentence and also because your photo wasn’t a platypus.
Also, if you can use a synonym for “awesome” in your lead that would be best since you use it in the conclusion, too. You really don’t want to repeat a word if possible, especially in as short an essay as this.
But overall, this was a fantastic paragraph!
Gabe, This was a short essay but it was packed with details many of which I had never known. The fact about the Europeans seeing them for the first time was hilarious.
Keep up the good work especially since we love reading what you write.
Love â¤ï¸ Papa & Gramsey